consensus seems to prove that valentines day causes more harm than good.

valentinesday sucks for the following reasons:

• too much pressure.  if ur in a relationship and theres no grand gesture, well, you failed.  Your dramatic girlfriend will whine relentlessly to her friends about how she puts up with ur bullshit and all she got was a box of chocolates and a lame as card you bought on the way over to pick her up and quickly doodled [heart] boyfriend
• you will wait no less than 2 hours for a table at dinner because “reservations” are so 90s.
• unless you’re in the ‘oooey gooey PDA butterflies stage” of your relationship, you are 99.9% guaranteed to have a major league fight.  Probably over something stupid, but it will usually end with “but you can’t even be nice to me on Valentines dayyyy wahhhhh” here comes the wahhmbulance.
• if you’re on a “friend date” HAH you can think again…be prepared for some stage 5 creepage.
• if you’re on a date with a casual acquaintance…holy awkward situation.  what is the protocol for that one?
• if youre [newly] single, you can’t run and hide, you are going to get slapped in the face with all that is Valentines day and probably end up shitfaced at a bar making out with strangers, or staying at home and eating your feelings with your cat while you watch infomercials…or…
• people who find out you are newly single will become your worst nightmare
• conversation hearts: WHO THE HELL WRITES THESE THINGS, a middle school principal? “fax me”…really…its only a matter of time before “Let’s Blog” makes the cut.  better yet “Add me” or “facebook me” or “lets tweet”